You bet your ass I’m going to be wearing my Broncos-orange Super Bowl 50 Champions t-shirt. I’ll need something to dry my tears on when they kick off next season.

Or alarmingly increasing swaths of Denver.

I empathized with the letter writer...I don’t drink very often anymore, and when I do, I stop early. I did go through hard partying days in college, however.

I have this book on my to-read list thanks to these columns. I’m lucky enough to be one of those people who can go to a bar for a sporting event, order one beer that looks tasty, then happily stick to Diet Coke for the rest of the evening (well, unless the sporting event in question involves the Broncos, lol). I've…

Depends on the temptation. I don't like chocolate or cake. If only freezers would universally fail and render us safe from ice cream—then I'd be toned af.

The cottonmouth doesn't give you problems? When I'm baked, I'll start chugging anything that looks vaguely drinkable. Since I'm not much of a drinker, though, I go straight to sticking my head directly under the kitchen faucet instead of grabbing a beer.

In the childfree groups I associate with, “breeder” is still used a pejorative for parents, but only the ones who are real assholes about having reproduced, i.e., the ones who talk about how they haven’t slept or taken a shower in five years, can't remember the color of their carpets because they're covered in baby…

I was 15 when mine invaded, which was so late compared to my friends that I spent a couple years hoping that I was some freak of nature who would never be afflicted. I'm not sure I make a good case study, though, since I later realized that I'm nonbinary and am just starting the process of convincing my insurance…

I love gazpacho, but get the hot tomato soup AWAY from me. Also I’m apparently really, really picky about the temperature and consistency of my liquefied tomatoes—a chilled gazpacho or cold tomato juice sound refreshing, especially on a day the feels like Satan’s armpit, but keep the ketchup on your side of the table.…

“She tried hard. She was very sweet.”

A Cubs win would be sweet indeed. Alas, I’m afraid I used up all my sports mojo on the Broncos this year, as evidenced by the Cavs’ (well-deserved) win. I was merely a bandwagon GS fan, though, whereas I am a born-and-raised Denverite, so it was a worthwhile cash-in. Plus, Cleveland earned this one.

Non-dude (but kinda not a lady, either) here...are they ever requested?

That the whole process only took half an hour tells me that either you need stronger weed or I need a more findable remote.

I don’t like hot or cold pizza. Unlike sandwiches, you can’t separate the edibles from the bread, which is the vilest food on the planet. My parents would try to put me up for adoption, but I'm 30.

Wait, where do you live that only one station plays Christmas music, and what are rent prices like?

Ah, 2016. What a time to be asexual!

What is my ex-boyfriend doing in LA, and how did he get close enough to make eye contact with Zendaya?

I love the Doors (my handle comes from one of their song), but good god were they as cavalier about ripping off other artists as...well, pretty much any well-known group that started in the late sixties, really. :/ Still, I get why the Watergate would attribute their inspiration for the bar name to Jim Morrison & Co.,…

How bad is it that I actually miss Ted Cruz’ presence as a viable candidate right about now? Calling him the Zodiac Killer and a blobfish was obviously a joke. A mean spirited (but oh-so-deserved) joke, sure, but no one could take the analogies seriously.

More like solidarity than actual advice, as I’m 30, kinda sick of freelancing, definitely sick of 9-to-5s even though I haven’t had one in years, but did find an area I’m passionate enough about to be seriously considering a Ph.D. program (already have my Master’s). The downside is that I didn't discover this passion…