And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Of course she did! She trashed the reality show opening credits cast roll and went and made a feature length film trailer. I don’t know who is running her campaign, but I’m going to be disappointed if it isn’t Armando Iannucci.

The only correct response here is: Congratulations, Representative Plame!

It’s not entirely clear Trump doesn’t just think that means they have a credit card.

Yikes.

Enjoyed this! Some really great observations on gaming and privacy and coming of age in that moment, but describing a(nother) new Starbucks as a “vanilla-cream-filled zit” is [chef’s kiss] perfect.

Yeah, I don’t think polling admitted hospital patients with “What year it is?” and “Who is the president?” counts an approval rating, but even so — that 94% still feels a little high. I’d expect a lot of folks to just have a stroke.  

I do very much enjoy the Butterbean cosplayer tugging his shorts (dignity???) back up after that ill-advised leaping haymaker.

It’s just that Audi/BMW/Mercedes have “heritage” and 100+ years of marketing...

True, and the Steelers were never going to deal Brown directly to the Patriots, but for me the question still stands: when the fuck did Rosenhaus and/or Brown decide to pull the rug out from under the Raiders? Was this ever a good faith trade?

That’s Super Bowl MVP Julian Edelman to you.

So, this has gone from a case of contrived bullshit to sell a reality show to contrived bullshit to litigate NFL contract guarantees, right? Has Rosenhaus been trying to test this all along?

Let’s be honest, if any newspaper was going to let a conservative columnist snort the dust of clutched pearls, it was always going to be the New York Times. 

Jack In The Box: Try our four-patty chicken sandwich!

Hey, this isn’t the Jamboroo, pal!

Woman: “Business or pleasure, Jack?”

If after all this time you have chosen her, then no doubt you have... chosen wisely.

Ah, that’s bummer man. I’m sorry to hear it. Lost my good girl two weeks ago — and two weeks, July, I’m not sure the strangeness of being home, alone, without her will wear off any time soon. Dogs are good. 

Fortunately, Alabama voters will remember all of this in 2020, when they go to the polls and vote for the candidate who, in a time of grave danger, defended the great state of Alabama.

Yeah, I don’t think the problem there is the part where you’re making your bed.