I thought it was pretty clear she was hedging against extra time by saving those subs. Spain had a run of momentum early in the second half, but the U.S. had seemed to weather the storm and seemed well-positioned for a winner. 

For me the big whiff is this one:

Tough, but fair.

Yes, because the best way to demonstrate a commitment to equality is to issue a press release. And then refuse to comment and/or even point to the existence of the thing you said. 

Officers: You can leave now.

In a pouch, duh.

Sadly, we’ll likely never learn if the aliens who will write our obituary would have shared our deep and abiding love of irony.

Shit, State Farm better watch its back. Allstate’s gonna swoop in, buy out their clients, and turn the Rockets’ season into one big “Mayhem” ad.

That illustration is tremendous.

Granted, it wasn’t a shoe, but there’s a little tape we can eat on this one:

“Make it a double. I don’t have to drive until we land!”

Honestly? You asked a car company to review a car to drive to an event that you were covering. To be kind, it certainly seems like you could be paid more.

That... actually sounds pretty cool.

Poor people eat ice cream. Rich people eat gin.

Oh, damn. I misread that title, but if this town has such strong feelings about ice cream they’d probably be real asshats about caramel too.

Also, never forget the Garfield story arc so grim it puts Nihilist Arby’s to shame.

fwiw, this is Google’s Wikipedia preview if you search “NBA Finals MVP” right now:

Who would have thought the Warriors dynasty would end like the Fab Five?

Jackson and Van Gundy are fine as those dummies at the bar who get you through the drudgery of the regular season. But they have no second gear for the playoffs, let alone the Finals, and they’re not folsky enough in any way to even enjoy as common men crashing the company party. Throw the bums out. 

Holy shit! That's a great story.