If there’s one thing this President simply won’t tolerate, it’s video evidence.

This is the most accurate review of any Vampire Weekend album ever published. Nice work!

I laughed unreasonbly hard at this.

This is the correct take. Adam spoiled apples for Eve. Humanity, as a result, has been doomed to the godless realm of science — the cold, unfeeling pursuit of spoiler-ing all truths of human existence.

Hopefully they take a break to come up for air. Or at the very least find a bubble. 

My god, man. A spoiler warning, please!

I love the intellectual challenge of avoiding spoilers.

Honestly, spending $117.70 at Playmates showsthe kind of fiscal restraint an organization should want to encourage among its executives.

It’s the shared cultural moment that enshrines the on-screen moment, not the other way around. As film evolves, so does the way we watch and react to it. I would argue “legitimately having no idea” is too subjective a target to ask everyone online to stop talking.

Being a fan is not an experience a brand or a creator gets to dictate.

Huh? What the fuck are you talking about? Just stuff 20 people into a box and cut it in half. Boom. Two halves. Symmetry. Messy, yeah, but pro tip — freeze the box first. Still messy, but a little less messy. What are we talking about again?

Look, I don’t want Biden to win the nomination or the presidency — but I do very much want him to troll Trump every dang day and would like to have many cameras and newses dedicated to covering it. 

I was pretty sure “Marchioness of Cholmondeley” was actually just a hilarious joke, but Google says it’s legit. Who knew! 

Oh, Lordy. The trouble I’ve seen.

I was in Waco at the end of last year. I sat down in a diner to have breakfast and there was a sign under the television announcing, “We do not show any NFL games with teams that refuse to STAND FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.” My eye roll was audible. Anyway, that’s why. 

James Harden complaining the game should be called “the way it’s supposed to be called” is like Wil E. Coyote complaining to Acme customer service after the Roadrunner escapes into the cliff painting. It’s like, yeah, man, that wasn’t supposed to happen, but to be fair you were legit trying to smash and eat that bird.…

You magnificent bastard. 

So, GM really liked the guy he saw at the Senior Bowl, and not the guy he thinks he saw play maybe in the Big 12?

It’s honestly hard to believe we live in a world where Mike McCarthy’s is only the second most talked-about massage of the NFL off-season. Under normal circumstances (aor, um, 5 years ago I guess?) that’s Deadspin HOF material.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the Caps exit makes it all four of the top seeds knocked out in the first round?