Even with the political winds blowing in the Dems favor, in this climate that any House action will be seen by many — and dismissed by many — as purely political. The report leaked and published, however, becomes another entry in a long tradition of our free press, accomplishes the same ends, and over time reinforces…

This kind of low-hanging legal fruit is an absolute best case scenario for the GOP, intelligence agencies, and Justice, which would very much like Trump to hang himself so they don’t have to get involved.

Good work, Snyder. Way to draw a line at rock bottom. 

They could offset the cost by introducing “single origin CO2,” drinks bottled with gas trapped from “San Francisco fog” or “Beijing mist.”

Frankly, I was too grossed out at “unappealing, didactic distrust” to keep reading. 

Yeah, it’s deeply strange, like injecting someone else’s blood into your veins to harness their vitality.

I wish! Any half-decent algorithm would have shitcanned Engler months ago.

And Kentucky is the real problem. There was a blog/discussion — I think it was on 538? — talking about McConnell during his reelection campaign and his concern about a Democratic challenger. McConnell’s advisers explained to him that the threat to his seat is actually from the right.

Someone needs to sit Yertle down and show the Turtle Majority Leader some Schoolhouse Rock. The Senate doesn’t require the signature of the President to make laws.

There’s a short story by Roberto Bolaño where a poet is literally dying of hiccups and every time I get hiccups I remember of it, which doesn’t help. 

Hmmm... goes from 300 to 1,000 burgers? Sounds like a Fillet-o-Fish tale to me. 

I would 100% pay for McDonald’s fries served in a replica cup with the POTUS seal. I’m not a proud man. 

Old Spice’s marketing team was quick to respond.

Upton’s father, when reached for comment, said, “This is B.S.”

After deep and careful consideration I'm going with: straw. Final answer. 

“Um, so, we don’t have cash, but can we pay with this autographed Tim Tebow helmet?”

No, just oval. 

“Eye is a letter, isn’t it?”

You know, I was gonna go with fork, because he also ate two slices of pie, but something about this just feels right.

How does Trump eat a bowl of rice? Spoon or fork? WHO YA GOT?!