“I’ve hated the moths on my front porch for years. Stupid moths! Always annoying me with their flying and the wings and constantly dropping the n-word. Well, tonight, I took a vacuum and I sure took care of those fuckers! Porch looks great! Enjoy Barstool. We’ll keep a light on for ya!”

I am sorry to have to say this, but I do not believe that you are sorry. 

Moonshine? Deer blood? Lib tears? I need to know. 

Yeah, we’re running a real deficit on white guys who just can’t but get the benefit of the doubt because they Believe.

“Or so I assume, because, you know, I’d have no way of knowing, not having... you know, been insid—”

Wait, what is a 5 gallon bucket for?

To be fair, leaking the details of a sordid affair that reinforces both Bezos’ deep pockets and his, um, deep pockets is basically a Trump move to begin with. 

Haven’t 3 of the 5 playoff-era national championships been won by a QB who started his team’s season on the bench? Maybe just ride this one out, Tathan. 

A true crisis of the heart. 

You should probably make a trip to Mama’s Too. Their house square slice is ridiculously good.

On the contrary, the GOP’s best play here is to be the ones who end the shutdown. It gives them clear separation from a President who is about to get his ass handed to him by Mueller. Mitch’s “problem,” however, is that right now the Dems have the initiative. So he’s stalling.

News outlets needs to start dragging McConnell for his “we won’t vote because Trump won’t sign” bullshit. If he literally doesn’t sign a bill, it becomes a law in 10 days without his signature; if he vetoes it, Congress can override the damn veto. 

This is, in fact, a tremendous point. If there’s no hard and fast rule about where to build the wall, why not just move it a few more hundred miles inland—say, to Wyoming or Idaho.

....men like Moix, those connoisseurs of youth.

How is the irony lost on these idiots that the party that idolizes a man whose greatest triumph was declaring, “Tear down this wall!” is now led by a man whose future depends on building a bigger, dumber wall.

To be fair, “alive girl” sets a very low bar, but it’s an important one.

I see Bauer finally upped his spin rate.  

I’d give this feud a few months to develop and the NBC host can book the former NBC star and that should be good for NBC’s ratin—oh, I see what’s happening here.

On the other hand, isn’t it worth not exposing anyone with an actual future to this brand of radioactive political waste?

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