“Once upon a time, onions were weird...”

On this day, let us also remember Laura Wagner’s email account, and pray for the Dead Letters which await us. Amen.

And a special shoutout to Kyle Fuller who let the game-winning interception bounce off his numbers!

And a special shoutout to Kyle Fuller who let the game-winning interception bounce off his numbers!

Actually, eggs, asparagus, some cheese, and some olives with three glasses of wine sounds amazing. Also, it sounds like one fucking meal.

Who has the energy! 

Fascinating. I think we need to leave open the possibility that “GUTLESS LIBERAL SNOWFLAKE ! ! EMAIL ME BACK IF I GOT IT WRONG” is actually part of the email signature.

If your so tired of the 2008 Celtics, why are you writing about them.

Hell yes, JezSpin! It’s not just for April Fool’s Day any more!

Would have fit right in with the whole Men At Work vibe Columbus had going on.

I have always been fine with the D.C. United name, but holy fucking vuvuzelas was that original logo janky.

Occam’s Razor is lost on every single one of these dipshits.

Hot Take: Eurotrash names are bad, but they’re not nearly as bad as America’s obsession with mascot-monikered clubs.

Not a real doctor: 

That’s not untrue.

You knuckleheads fell for the gif. The real ball was in the video.

This guy was in the middle of the legal maneuvering inside Cheney’s White House. This isn’t Trump’s pick. This is a guy the GOP needs on the court to protect all the garbage that’s been piling up. 

Hell is going to In-N-Out for the first time with your west coast friends and trying to not disappoint them after one bite.

No, Craig, and you’re screwing up food for the rest of us. The basic version of a thing should not include other things. Black coffee has nothing in it. Plain hot dogs and plain hamburgers have nothing on them. These are basic food units. Modify them however you like! But it’s on you to make it happen. I shouldn’t…

Dunking fries into a Frosty is still my Wendy’s go-to, so game respect game.