This is perfection.

“Daddy...”

It felt like Newcomb was pitching so -fast- there at the end. Camera barely had time to cut away between pitches. Taylor’s foul ball really seemed to snap his rhythm.

After thinking about it deeply, I think maybe same kind of thing is happening with Marvin Martian, who, in all honesty, is just the Wil E. Coyote archetype extended into service for Bugs and Daffy.

Honest question: Should sportswriters just stop reporting bogus non-guaranteed contract numbers? Much more relevant to the conversation would be numbers that reflected actual earnings, even if those numbers were reported after a season ends.

I sincerely hope not.

In all seriousness, thank fucking god someone can finally just enjoy a fun MLS game around here. 

Or it’s just a convenient shorthand that serves as a placeholder for the important point to be made, allowing everyone to avoid having a conversation but ultimately getting the point across. Way to fucking ruin it. 

Do you know Drew or have a copy of his original Looney Tunes ranking? Share it in the comments, or explain again how to use SecureDrop, because I hate myself and really want to see Drew’s list.

I want to steal the very embers of this hot take and build a shrine to it. 

The liar does not care about the opinions of people.

Once upon a time there was (is?) a Tropical Blizzard, which, to my memory, mixed coconut, pineapple, and banana into vanilla soft serve — and it was fucking great. The coconut helps solve the textural challenge of mixing fruit into ice cream. Damn, now I want a Tropical Blizzard. 

Nassar’s lawyers literally have “SADO” emblazoned on their letterhead. That kind of honesty is refreshing.

The Savage Smyth building in Chicago... “a place pulsing with a disruptive spirit that inspires innovation, and allows you to craft your own experience.” Which seems like a silly way of saying, “Rent a room that isn’t a fluorescent-lit windowless prison,” but whatever.

Finally, the trade war with China has helped an American worker.

The good (?) news is it’s rarely not been like this, at least with respect for the American journalism landscape. Power will always abhor dissent, and people will always seek the comfort of their beliefs. Keep shaking ‘em out, Drew.

But I wasn't wrong when I said I was an idiot. 

I think that’s very fair point! It was raised elsewhere.

Yes, but if you look at the approval rati—I mean, um, the rate of infection over time, it’s actually somewhat low.