Damn. DAMN.

You forgot Mascherano.

Pepes, Ranked

They should have sat her family at different tables.

“Cowards” is exceedingly generous. If you’d have settled on “complicit,” you’d have gotten no argument from me.

No, by this logic, the very best teams should play to a 0-0 draw. Give me the goals, please.

“I admit this video is incomplete, which is to say that it not a complete version of my own thoughts, which I am obviously willing to prop up using literally anything that validates them, but the really important thing is that we discuss my thoughts, which is to say that you should just agree with me, because, see, I…

My dude. Spain giving up an all-time goal does not make them frauds, tho I strongly feel they Might Be Frauds, as Mexico surely are.

It was mind-numbing. Every damn time Mexico exposed Germany on the wing, they would get into the box and decide to cut back and blow the chance. By the time Chicharito and Vela had a chance to seal the game, I literally turned to my wife and said, hey, watch this — these two are gonna fuck this up.

Can we discuss the obscene number of chances Mexico had on the counter — most of which ended without even getting a shot on goal?

That’s not a bus, it’s a glacier.

What a debut! Iceland’s keeper was terrific in goal. His penalty save felt like justice served on a soft penalty.

Oh, too soon.

I gasped when he stepped back from that ball, because it was already, clearly, going in the net. Fucking amazing.

You think he got trip protection? 

Can you even imagine having an opportunity to tell Dan Gilbert to go fuck himself — and then choose to sign with James Dolan? Ew, no.

It’s odd that universities and the NCAA refuse to pay college athletes, considering all these old white guys seem convinced money is the only reason anyone does anything.

La furia roja indeed.

It’s also just lovely how long his wife and daugher watch the ball sail into the woods. That’s love.

Interesting. So what I’m hearing here is that LeBron -hasn’t- ruled out a move to Sacramento. Very interesting.