I mewed a lot about James early in his career. It took me far too long to realize that actually I am a stupid idiot with some real bad ideas about things.

HOLY SHIT BALE SCORED HIS SECOND FROM FUCKING WALES.

To be fair, if you want to legally get your foreign-born children into the U.S., all you have to do is tell them to marry rich.

Let’s be clear, The Hot Zone was so much better than Outbreak. But I knew that my, um, report had to be based on the film based on the book if it was going to get any real interest.

“...won an NBA Finals MVP.”

The Titanic was also my obsession, but at home. I don’t recall ever doing a school report on it. It seemed unfair. Kids I knew were I were into R.L. Stein, and there I am reading A Night to Remember.

Ebola. Instead of a report, I wrote multiple chapters of fiction that were basically a bad ripoff of Outbreak. I think I was in fifth grade.

I mean, just relocate the sitcom family to Brooklyn and call it The Queen of Kings.

God, watching LeBron in this game was like watching a math tutor hoping his charges will solve for the unsolvable. This is brutal.

Idiot. Take your star.

Miyagawa said he’s leaving the sport in shame. “I don’t think I have a right to continue playing American football.”

You know it’s real bad when God is your damage control.

The only person stunned by this development is, still, Sterling Brown.  

Looks like someone wanted a handout. Thankfully, the adult in the room gave that whippersnapper a chance to pull himself up by his bootstraps and work for it.

So the correct takeaway here is that someone involved with Michigan politics -right now- is vulnerable to an increased statue of limitations?

I have friends in red states who see absolutely nothing wrong with drilling their children and grandchildren for a school shooting, sending them off every day with doorstops and tiny, impotent tools of self-defense, conceding that grade schools have become war zones as if it were some kind of noble, hardscrabble fact…

Let’s be honest. We get a top-tier child actor once every, what, decade? I mean, look at those goobers from Stranger Things — they’re fine! But, like, one really good actor among them, right?

Embarrassing gaffe, but glad he’s in the clear.

“Damn all you I-talians speaking paparazzi!”

My bartender always warns me, the true sign of a bad night is throwing up shots late.