Joakim Noah (who was last seen spreading blessings in the rainforest with a blond beard that actually looks pretty good on him)

Well, at least this settles the debate — people who stand to poop are monsters.

Man, go take a nap. LeBron called his shots and went to Miami to win two titles. Durant called his and went to Golden State. Kyrie called his and bailed on Cleveland. The list goes on.

Oddly, if I wait a bit and I replay the clip, I hear “Ya-urel” on the first one. After that it’s Laurels all the way down.

You laugh, but I get 20% off Kinja now.

So, that means I was listening to this as the exact moment I became An Old? Or, did this audio clip turn me into An Old?

Sad but true.

That shit switched from Yanny to Laurel on me and now I’m bugging out. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, PATRICK.

Yeah, contrary to recent reports, I’m not all that confident the Golden State Killer was caught, because I witnessed at least five murders last night.

My sister had a bear break into her house in California. It looked through the fridge, chugged a nearby bottle of olive oil, then headed upstairs and shit in her bed. When the bear remediation/service guy came, he wasn’t even through the door before asking, “Did it shit in the bed?”

Literally, I am.

Hot Take: Harden has got to be the guy who shoves Draymond back if he wants to win this series. 

Someone should do this.

Mrs. Razor and I are having a gender reveal party — it’s called the birth of the child. I’m the only one invited.

Oh, please, don’t feel sorry for me — I’m not the apologist who needs legal permission to show empathy for rape victims.

A fate not to be relished.

Is there some available coach out there who has a secret plan for making James less good at basketball?

And your response to the example? Should MSU have not asked or considered more serioisly the allegations against Larry Nasser?

Is it? I’ll leave it to you to bring some kind of proof of that assertation.

Last Man on Earth was, at times, one of the most improbably unique series on television. Fittingly, it seemed to have been scrambling to save its own ass from day one.