I hope you'll excuse my own poultry addition to this pun thread!

Look on the bright side, we could all be wiped out in a nuclear holocaust well before then!

Elton John played Sun City, and artists like Beyonce, Usher, and Nicki Minaj have been willing to perform for dictators for the right price, so I imagine Trump will eventually wave enough money at some big name, who will reluctantly accept in the name of "national unity" or some such bullshit.

Drake lays on his back, his belly baking in the hot sun, beating his legs trying to turn himself over. But he can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

Well, I heard that someone is predicting a Rapture at the end of the month. In any other year, I'd say that's crazy, but…

You're fake!

dat ass doe

You're The Best!

That would be wild. A wild world indeed!

She owns hospitals and a chain of successful thrift stores, but still finds time to write and perform music. How does she do it??

But could he at least be consistent and appoint Joan Baez as Secretary of Defense?

Years ago I visited a Saturn car dealership, and the salesman explained the reason behind their no-haggle pricing: according to their research, people don't mind paying more than they would by negotiating, as long as they know that no one else is getting a better deal. To me, that accurately describes the…

That's it, I'm gonna Head On out of this thread.

Who knows, I can't begin to quantum all!

Well sure, it's not exactly Brain Salad Surgery.

I've been waiting for my onion rings — forever.

Not much of a rind on this thickburger

He read the historical records on 2016 and immediately hightailed it back to the 24th century.

I WANNA DIE JUST LIKE JESUS CHRIST

I love rock and roll.