I tried to watch When Harry Met Sally last night, but passed out just before the opening credits ended!

Happy 2017, motherscratchers! I hope you didn't do anything regrettable last night, or if you did, I hope you don't remember it!

Classic RonaldRavegan!

YOU get a Mean Girl and YOU get a Mean Girl

But the pathetic spectacle of an inauguration headlined by a couple of washed up rockers and an 80s cover band is the only satisfaction I'm going to get out of this whole sorry mess!

Don't mind me, I did too much LDS in college.

Finally, a president the right and left can agree on!

— Kid Rock

A.V. Club, stop trying to make bacon happen!

Not to mention the death threats she'll probably get from the neo-Nazi crowd. I honestly don't know if I'd have the courage to deal with the fallout. Anyone willing to act on their conscience and publicly repudiate the garbage human is a hero in my eyes.

More like Latter-Day Taints! *offers salve for sick burn*

*strokes beard thoughtfully*

It's a shelter for stray coms!

I've been reading since The Intestinal Hulk #2!

Chicanery
[shi-key-nuh-ree]
noun
A shop where Chicanos are sold.

You won't believe what happens next!

I'd better make sure My Adidas are properly licensed!

Run-D.M.C. sued my mom this Christmas for cooking unlicensed chicken and collard greens. :(

I self-harmed with CBS All-Access.

It's the Ramireztoration!