Sold!

I can't think of a worse punishment than simply having to be them.

I started reading, but quickly had to nope out of there. Reading the mundane details is just way too depressing. Life is hard enough as it is…I don't know why some people are compelled to make it even shittier for each other.

I'm not proud - I needed it!

Naveen Andrews!

I wasn't, but I'm now rather envious of your life!

Yeah, I can see that.

Nah…we've pretty much all lost.

Fortunately, I was planning on showering after work anyway….

Well as we've learned from TV, only 50 year old men engage in…Meth Lab Shenanigans!

ಠ_ಠ

Not that far from reality!

I hope I'm not the only one who reads books about prison for tips on how not to get beaten up. Just, y'know, in case!

I've never ventured into TMZ comments…I imagine it's where people go who keep getting laughed out of YouTube comments.

I'm switching my allegiance to Dave Franco!

I guess I had the wrong take on Depp. I've read a lot of showbiz gossip about how he's a good tipper, nice to his fans, and things like that, so I thought he was one of the good guys. Really disappointed now.

Nah, man…just…nah.

One of the more pathetic reminders of aging is looking at MILF porn and recognizing the actress as someone you once saw in Barely Legal porn!

Chris Gethard would really, really shock and depress me if he did something like this.

System? Damn near killed 'em!