You married your dog? Dammit, Rick Santorum was right all along!

It's the fact that this happened in broad daylight and not 3 a.m. that makes me sad for both of these guys.

It was apparently both things!

I tried calling, but the voicemail message just says "bork bork bork."

Whoa.

And now everyone wants sexy melons.

I tried to get around this by using a pseudonym for my FB profile, but then I realized that fucking Facebook "recommends" people based on location, so I was showing up on my co-worker's FB pages with the fake name but my actual photo. D'ohh!

I'm still on there, but I think I need to quit, because I only go on there every few days and then I find out that someone experienced some horrible tragedy weeks ago and then if I post something like a cute photo of my dog it looks like I totally ignored that person's tragedy.

How much did Goldman Sachs pay Hillary to "like" their FB page?? #WhichHillary #FeeltheBern

The previous one never really ended for me, so why not!

They have passed away?

TBH I kind of preferred the oversharing to what has replaced it, which is Snapchat photos with that filter where you have a dog's snout and ears.

More Tom Cruise Movie 2

Hickory Dickory DOCK
I'm not all that interested in this show
OHHHHHHH!!!!

I never get invited to cumin parties. :(

US Office could get pretty agonizing, though: "Scott's Tots" for instance.

I'm thinking about a friend of mine you don't know who's dying.

The actress playing Young-hee has a distractingly awful Korean accent. She's no Margaret Cho!

It's funny because it sounds like "Ge Thard"

Solid username/comment synergy