How much for one that's not carved out of a bar of soap?

Hey, I was amped for it!

9/11 changed everything

I barely knew 'er!

That's a bit hyperbolic! I would use mustard gas or Sarin as a first resort.

He became an old maid…he never married!

This one was released prematurely. Two more weeks in solitary with Rhythm Nation 1814 should do the trick!

Yes.

The Univator, buyin' Onions!

I'll let that one go since you're a baby.

Wasn't it "Der Stinglehoffer"?

Technically, but he's been reassigned to the annex until his contract runs out.

Be sure to wipe front to back only.

They had to cancel the jetpack because the rocket was a choking hazard.

To be fair, Palin didn't have enough time before the election to really allow her insanity to blossom. Now that she's a seasoned nutcase, she is ready to join the Trump Dream Team.

(#+_+)

disposing of gas chamber victims and witnessing all manner of atrocity

I have to admit, when I watch a comedian doing standup nowadays it feels very weird. Why are you talking to us? Where are the other guests?

Yes it's true, this man has no philtrum.

I'm conflicted about Patton. On the one hand, he's one of the sharpest, fastest wits out there, he's a legit hardcore geek (ONE OF US), and in general he's on the side of good on social/political issues.