If you need me? I have a phone number. Do not randomly show up at my door because I will invent a meeting that I have to get to if I don’t want to see you. We all have gchat, no green button? I am not available. NEXT.

I can’t understand how anyone gets anything done. And forget anything resembling concetration, you must all be zen monks to be able to tune out the visual cacophony of detritus sprawling all over those desks.

I would murder all of my co-workers if I did not have an office with a door. In fact, I negotiated for that before I negotiated a raise.

Yes. Linda Tripp is the lingering taint on the underside of the modern conservative movement.

For a week.

He specializes in cosmetic dentistry, and his practice is near some of the wealthier suburbs in the area. He’s making rich people look pretty, not cleaning middle class kids’ teeth.

I have a whole treasure-trove of Spy magazines in my basement. Gotta pull those out and look for more insults (but that one was the best ever).

Introvert does not equal insular, shy and quiet. That’s the whole point. I’m an extreme Introvert. I am confident, can be outgoing when I want to be, and popular at work (I don’t care about being “popular” in social circles.) Granted, it’s taken me awhile to figure out how to get noticed in my career since I’m not…

Introverted doesn’t mean hermit. Or shy. Or lacking confidence.

+1, I don’t like Caitlyn, but I think she has opened the door for another, more likable transgender person to become a role model, so I respect her role in this process. I just don't like her, and isn't that what equality is about? Being able to declare that you like or dislike someone and have it not have anything to…

“Do you make your sandwiches with bread?”

Right. It doesn’t matter to them unless it actually makes their business bleed hard. This is why I find it so dismaying that so many millennial feminists refuse to have anything to do with laws actually on the books defending women’s rights. If you don’t use them, not only do they go away, but businesses and…

“I can’t imagine what it would be like to have created a movie that caused a man to target its audience.”

I’m not even sure why you wrote an article on this. All we needed was a headline that said “Cheesecake 4 Sale, Click Here”

I thought they were referring to ASMR, as well, but maybe this is a separate sensation. I thoroughly enjoy ASMR videos, especially the ones with tapping, scratching, or face touching.

I dunno. If we renamed all our kids because we realized the person they’re named for was actually racist, there would be absolutely no names left except for maybe those fucking stupid Twilight names and other made-up shit.

White people should really be asking themselves why their culture is so violent.

ABORTIONS FOR SOME! MINIATURE AMERICAN FLAGS FOR OTHERS!!!

Where the fuck are all you free speech mouth breathing motherfuckers? Free speech is not the right to be a snide little shit on the internet without people calling you on it. Free speech is the right to criticize the state, and by association anyone acting on behalf of the state, like an on-duty motherfucking police…

Except also believable.