But you have to ask yourself: Do we really want to put someone who can’t cap toothpaste properly in charge of our nuclear arsenal?

I’m confused. How can Moore’s family be both away, and present, having parties, like big party havers? Aren’t her kids part of her family?

Sorry but this ↑ is not a perfect looking fried egg. This ↓ is

You know, I like Jezebel. But if I were them—considering what happened, oh, just a day ago—I’d probably lay off the ethically-dubious assaults on people’s sexuality for at least a week or two.

Hello,

What a mean spirited post. Some guy feels insecure about his appearance, and your answer is to write a rant at him about his privilege. Unbelievable.

I can tell you what’s more precious than an unborn child. Educating, feeding, clothing, and sheltering low income children, and watching them break the cycle of poverty.

Fetal body parts marinated in male tears. Delish.

"Resilience" is very much the leftist "bootstraps."

Ryan Seacrest is giving me a Rob Lowe in Behind the Candelabra vibe in that picture.

Smartest thing I ever did, just ahead of ditching the loser who knocked me up.

During airport delays, I now randomly sign copies of my book This might be one of the greatest pranks ever.

Cara Delavigne makes me feel very old in that I find her totally fucking annoying. Nothing she says or does is, in any way, objectionable yet every time I hear her speak my eyes roll involuntarily. She is just so very 22.

Jesus. Hector. Christ. I hope someone proposes during her stupid fucking wedding. I hope everyone who’s not the bride wears white just to spite her. I hope her maid of honor gives a really mean, passive-aggressive speech. I hope her aunt gets too drunk and hits on the groom, and he goes for it.

Well if it’s what you’re mostly, right now I am a proud Guacamole-American (no peas)

Idiots are people two!

I’m done with all this talk about hyphenated Americans. We are not Indian-Americans, Irish-Americans, African-Americans, rich Americans, or poor Americans - we are all Americans*

Gawker, Jezebel, why would you run this story, further publicizing the unfortunate mistake and giving mean-spirited people the chance to snark, retweet, and hurt even more people’s feelings unnecessarily? All week you’ve been rightly criticizing people who display the Confederate flag, rightly pointing out that it…

That seemed like a legitimate and reasonable response to a terrible mistake.

I really does seem like nobody cares, even the fucking comments section is empty.