I thought they were referring to ASMR, as well, but maybe this is a separate sensation. I thoroughly enjoy ASMR videos, especially the ones with tapping, scratching, or face touching.

I dunno. If we renamed all our kids because we realized the person they’re named for was actually racist, there would be absolutely no names left except for maybe those fucking stupid Twilight names and other made-up shit.

White people should really be asking themselves why their culture is so violent.

ABORTIONS FOR SOME! MINIATURE AMERICAN FLAGS FOR OTHERS!!!

Where the fuck are all you free speech mouth breathing motherfuckers? Free speech is not the right to be a snide little shit on the internet without people calling you on it. Free speech is the right to criticize the state, and by association anyone acting on behalf of the state, like an on-duty motherfucking police…

Except also believable.

But you have to ask yourself: Do we really want to put someone who can’t cap toothpaste properly in charge of our nuclear arsenal?

I’m confused. How can Moore’s family be both away, and present, having parties, like big party havers? Aren’t her kids part of her family?

Sorry but this ↑ is not a perfect looking fried egg. This ↓ is

You know, I like Jezebel. But if I were them—considering what happened, oh, just a day ago—I’d probably lay off the ethically-dubious assaults on people’s sexuality for at least a week or two.

Hello,

What a mean spirited post. Some guy feels insecure about his appearance, and your answer is to write a rant at him about his privilege. Unbelievable.

I can tell you what’s more precious than an unborn child. Educating, feeding, clothing, and sheltering low income children, and watching them break the cycle of poverty.

Fetal body parts marinated in male tears. Delish.

"Resilience" is very much the leftist "bootstraps."

Ryan Seacrest is giving me a Rob Lowe in Behind the Candelabra vibe in that picture.

Smartest thing I ever did, just ahead of ditching the loser who knocked me up.

During airport delays, I now randomly sign copies of my book This might be one of the greatest pranks ever.

I’ve never agreed with a candidate as much as I agree with Bernie Sanders. #feelthebern

Cara Delavigne makes me feel very old in that I find her totally fucking annoying. Nothing she says or does is, in any way, objectionable yet every time I hear her speak my eyes roll involuntarily. She is just so very 22.