Move over, I'm in your boat. I've watched one (1) episode of The Simpsons and every episode of Futurama, at least four or five times.

Well, it could be if your narrator followed through.

I've never made it through Manos. There's a lot of good zingers, but even with their best efforts, you're still just watching nothing happen.
I could watch Beast of Yucca Flats 100 more times though.

I'm pretty sure Dumbledore would've accidentally gotten young Shkreli lost in the Forbidden Forest, then laughed maniacally while figuring out a way to give Gryffindor 100 points for it.

Johnny Lee Miller should've played it, then?

Wasn't it Hannity that volunteered to undergo waterboarding to prove it wasn't torture and then backed out? It may have been one of the other slack-jawed lackeys.

Sad upvote.

Hell, it's easier than that. Have three cats, all of whom are fourish years apart. Instant fireworks.

Well, this is slightly less ridiculous than the concerned articles suggesting that Pokemon Go was suggesting to children that it's okay to lock pets up and force them to fight.

To its credit, though, Frasier was progressive on the gay front; there are multiple episodes discussing homosexuality without making it a punchline. Early on, a man mistakes a friendly get-together for a date and Frasier's only real concern is that the guy's feelings will get hurt; much later in the series, Frasier…

I have intermittent but occasionally overwhelming tinnitus (along with a host of other hearing issues). This is, I think, the most common type; I don't think "literally constant whining noise" happens very often. For myself, I play low music as often as possible and if I'm not in my room or car, I'm wearing earbuds.
Fo…

I firmly believe that entire movie was made because someone dreamed up that line and decided they had to build a semi-workable plot around it.

Pandas kinda deserve it. Just eat what you're designed for, you lazy fucks!

Upvoted for stealth pun.

Tangentially: this isn't an American problem. Wakefield was English. This has taken hold in Australia, the UK, South Africa, and there was a huge outbreak of measles in Romania this year.
These diseases are commonly believed to be dead, but they come back with a vengeance the moment vaccination levels drop. Venezuela…

Ok, set aside herd immunity and work with your theoretical, child raised in a literal barn in the middle of nowhere (I'd argue that itself is abuse, but whatever).
Kid steps on thorn. Parent says "eh, God'll take care of it." Kid dies of tetanus, one of the most horrifying deaths out there.
Kid eats bad food, which…

They simply should. I've seen pregnant women nearly die from the flu and have to be in the hospital for six weeks; I've watched infants go on ventilators due to pertussis. The human cost of this is insane, and it's entirely preventable.

So, one of the first vaccines ever came in the form of cowpox. Soldiers realized that anyone who had cowpox didn't get smallpox. They took to breaking open the cowpox pustules - even from people who'd died of cowpox - and smearing the pus all over themselves in an effort to induce immunity. It worked fairly well, and…

But you're actually exposing them to more of the ingredients you presumably wish to avoid. If you give the recommended schedule, you're reducing the amount of preservatives and adjuvants; spreading them out means more shots and thus more preservatives and more adjuvants.
And again, it's not 1 in 10,000 it's in 1 in…

Oh, I know.
For anyone who wants to take a deep dive into this lunacy, track down the Things Anti-Vaxers Say facebook page. It's…illuminating.