“The last thing CU football needs is another gash.”

In other news, the ivy they wanted trimmed back is still there, and Jeff the maintenance guy hasn’t clocked out. #makesyouthink

Neither joke is good or funny

I broke up with my periodontist after analyzing a bill and noticing a charge for “dental instruction.”

If Hillary wins, do you think she and Bill will bone on Election Night?

Who’s got two thumbs and an emergent self-awareness?

Something’s Wrong with the Holodeck: The Series

This guy is Danny’s Johnny Drama.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

Its actually Buick, but they misspelled it, the plane was taken down by a 500mph 83 Buick LeSabre.

That’s the best line of the night

I do. It’s a little island of calm in a sea of insanity. Great Sunday morning starter. Has been for around 40 years, for me.

Not surprising. The Nationals are known to get in a brawl every time Harper gets hurt. So far they’ve fought 22 other MLB teams, 4 outfield walls, 3 dugout steps, the team’s shower facilities, and 1 unfortunate yoga instructor.

I don’t want to know how many Americans found this on accident by Googling “Kaepernick Lynch.”

Because the Russians were the only ones with an enduring economic requirement to break huge amounts of thick ice year after year. We do it a little bit, mostly for exploration, but they have entire towns/cities which need ice broken in the winters in order for freight/supplies/gas & oil to move. Where other countries…

If you want to meditate on man’s inhumanity to man, buy the hotdog and put ketchup on it.

I’m mostly worried about what’s going on with Connor’s South Tower.

But he is Speaker of the House, not someone who just started and is learning the ropes. He should know what the people in Congress look like.

If it had been Selina Meyer, Gary would have been all over this.

Sausage.