I love how he’s talking as though anyone in the USA cares whether or not we got the World Cup. Like, this whole thing is over some huge national shame that Qatar got the games and not us.

Somewhere, there’s a writer for The Onion sitting there, just staring open-mouthed...

I really like the beginning of the video where he complains about not getting an advanced warning of his arrest and the charges against him. It’s like he’s used to living in an entirely different legal system in which crimes are negotiated away with money before charges are ever pressed. That part alone convinces me…

I hope he chooses to represent himself in court. I see shades of Bob Loblaw.

Sure, laugh now. We’ll see who’s grinning when Warner’s Nigerian prince wire transfer drops.

Your comment is pretty rich considering you pulled shit like this and this. Bureaucratic process, similar to the one you’re bemoaning here, is what saved your ass from being fired from Jez.

I was at a wedding once where the groom passed out unconscious no fewer than four times. Inauspicious*. Needless to say, they seem to have a wildly unhappy marriage. People are fucking crazy.

Sunk Cost? Lol. Don’t throw good money after bad.

I hate to hate on men, but OMG some penis humans can be so dumb.

Hey! This happened to my former friend Jessie, and her boyfriend Nick! She was just so obsessed with being married by age 25, that it didn’t matter to whom. They lasted two years, I believe. I’m still friends with Nick. Jessie is still a jerk, though.

My brother-in-law and his wife did that - showed up to his best friend’s 30th birthday, announced they were 3 weeks pregnant with their first child, soaked up all the attention for twenty minutes, and left. Not at all out of character, I might add.

I myself am guilty of ignoring “I don’t and won’t ever want kids.”

Always believe people when they tell you who they are.

You should always believe what men tell you. Many times a man will say “I’m no good”, “I don’t want to settle down,” etc... and women ignore it for reasons I can’t fathom.

My best friend is currently engaged to a guy who told her for years that he didn’t want to get married. I love her and want to support her, but I’m not exactly planning on going to their 50th wedding anniversary party.

Some people can’t stop celebrating themselves.

That’s extra messed up because she did it on purpose! I’ve heard that some brides get really sad after the wedding because the spotlight isn’t on them anymore. I’m over here thinking, I can’t wait until I’m not being hounded for answers on silly things and the hardest decision I have to make is strawberry or normal…

I desperately wish I could remind people of this when they are constantly posting #tbts and #fbfs and #wbws of their weddings months/years after their weddings. Seriously, ladies, no one cares anymore. Move on.

THIS. What is the obsession of getting married to someone that doesn’t want to get married to you? I can’t imagine anything more embarrassing than begging someone to propose. If you’re that desperate to get hitched, switch the gender expectation!

An ultimatum proposal is the most unromantic thing I can imagine,…

*Nope not changing her fucking name.

Apparently your aunt’s MIL is Sophia Petrillo.

Christ, that’s bad. My aunt’s MIL wore head to toe BLACK (with a lace face cover on her hat) and told everyone that she was in mourning for her only son throughout the wedding. That was fun!