"On what planet and with what brain and what senses did you use to determine that a few seconds of obligatory oral brings about an orgasm? Who ever convinced you that was possibe?"

I blame romcoms. No seriously I do. Your story and the one in this post are right up there with movies like The Fault In Our Stars, Sweet November, Autumn in New York, and Dying Young.

She was whatever her record label said she should be: punk, pop, metal, whatever.

Your post is very creepy because you described an ex of mine from many years ago. Except instead of 30 seconds it was 3 second and he thought I came. No seriously. He thought I did.

He needed to stop doing anything after Scrubs.

His name came up in a speech at a music awards show. Maybe the Grammys? Anyway not only did she not know who he was but she didn't say his name right.

I still prefer Chandler's method to breaking up with a clinger. These days, I probably wouldn't pick Yemen though.

Exactly. Plus, as Cracked points out, when you're at home, you don't have access to the trainers and equipment to maintain that regimen and, like you said, never got the knowledge to be healthy in the first place.

The one episode of ANTM that confused me was the one where they had two models doing the shoot in the freezing pool. The girl, who I think eventually won, literally had chattering teeth! Tyra kept pushing her — "Swimsuit shoots are always done in the winter!" — but then I think the girl had to go to the hospital? …

Hey you just described why I hate Dr. Phil so fucking much!

Much like rehab, this show is pointless if the contestants can't/won't/don't continue to maintain their success in a healthy way. As Cracked outlines, this failure is usually what happens.

Do you hear that Alanis Morissette? Now THIS DEVELOPMENT is ironic. (And thanks for helping ruin the meaning of that word.)

Mmm...hair is too wavy. DEALBREAKER!

Uh oh. Did I miss the point again? I do that sometimes.

I think that was the point of the sarcasm in the headline. I'm not saying I agree with it, but I get it.

"There is also concern that when he performs or attends at some of his public events, people will get shot or seriously injured."

I saw Grand Budapest Hotel last night. I don't get it. I don't see how it's any different from any other of his "quirky" movies, and it certainly wasn't worth the nominations it got.

American Sniper was based on a "nonfiction" book where the author got sued for defamation and accused of a bunch of other lying BS.

It was the unpaid internship bullshit that got me. Ask for your worth? That's fucking hilarious.