Will pay money for this.

Can't wait for the 2015 "Godzilla versus Jägers" crossover!

"Fucking hell, Joseph Heller. I've seen heavy-handed, but this: Yossarian must recognize the chaos of war and the paradoxes of military service in the viscera of another man? I of course know the novel is important, but Christ, how the hell am I supposed to write a term paper about this?"

My last girlfriend gave me the same nickname. Unfortunately, she did so because my cock always finished first.

This is hardly a surprise. At Oregon, Kelly didn't bother to learn all the NCAA rules either.

this seems necessary.

he’s 62 years old but has the body of a man half his age

"Ha! You call that ruining a mock draft?!"

After 'The Prisoner of Azkaban' the series became increasingly disappointing, ever longer, ever more boring, ever more unpleasant—and despite the silliness of the settings and the central Quidditch game, it even ceased to qualify as a book directed to children.
But the ending of the Goblet of Fire....really? Using the…

If you wanna cop a look at Kevin Smith's penis, he will oblige.

Joe Plausibledeniabliterno

Your dad and your ex-wife have surprisingly similar torsos.

"No, it's not windy!"

Aw. Now you've gotten me nostalgic for Spirograph:

Can you really blame him? Letting Bush take the fall hasn't failed him yet.