please don't make me google this. Can you give me a rundown of what this means in a non-horrifying way that won't require me to go visit /r/eyebleach?

So THAT'S what's wrong with me peepers!

I am surprised at this premise as I just assumed it was going to be called "Blinky Eyelashes" about a plucky elementary school girl and her pet yearling who solve misdemeanors.

Everyone else is just hatewatching this show too, right?

I always felt love for Brian because a) I spent a lot of time in love with boys who never liked me back and we had that whole unrequited love thing in common. I was 15 when this show aired, so I was like IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF IT when watching and b) underneath that hair he was fucking gorgeous.

Oh, that was intended as a compliment.

Dude. I have defended Alien Resurrection to people. "You just don't get it," I said. "Jean-Pierre Jeunet is just really FRENCH," I'd say. "It's just French. Like if Buffy got sent to Paris on an exchange year aboard a space ship."

I am beginning to suspect that Dawn French is the Stephen Merchant to Jennifer Saunders' Ricky Gervais.

Yeah, as you can tell from my avatar, I am no stranger to the Bill Lawrence party, but good ol' Cleo really fucking hit the skids.

Is season 4 on prime? I started watching it last year and for some reason got bored and quit, but apparently I need to revisit it.

I didn't even know it existed prior to your mentioning it, but now I do, and now I must find it. No idea in re: Hulu, although it seems hopeful, right?

On one hand, I am just really happy for Busy Phillips and the kid from Aliens in America (nothing gold can stay) to continue to get paid because they're great, but on the other hand, couldn't someone just replace Christa Miller with a mannequin holding a glass of wine at this point?

I saw "David Mitchell," got excited, and then saw "Cloud Atlas" and got disappointed.

Really? Kids in college usually come home for Christmas and Spring Break and Summer, even if they live on the East Coast. I mean, Adam and Kristina have a pretty big house in Berkeley, I can't imagine they're too broke to have her come home for the holidays.

"I don't have to watch this show with subtitles because I can understand American accents but am in fact borderline retarded and thus can not understand English or Scottish accents. Especially regional ones because I'm the kind of fucking dipshit who believes everyone in England says 'cor blimey, guvnah!'"
- Average…

Yes, because you know how Bates is just always cracking wise. That guy. A one-man comedy party.

Seriously, they could have done an entire season of Evil Nanny and I would have been so happy. Oh also in the "worst plot" section:

Infinite Jest as a resolution: setting yourself up for failure.

Yes, because Parenthood is really focusing on their male demographic. You can tell from all the beer commercials and explosions.

1) You'd think that we'd see Haddie at least semi-occasionally, unless she's like "Sorry Mom and Dad, can't come back for Christmas or Thanksgiving or Spring Break because orphans in Africa need my help."