Speaking as someone who has interacted socially with all of those people: no part of that made sense except the last sentence, and thank God.

Does that mean two-thirds of us have to become couples before the end? Because that's a bad idea for so many reasons.

I tried, but they wouldn't respond to my pitch. I should have taken Oswald up on his offer to kidnap the loved ones of various Fox executives, but at the time it seemed so tawdry.

Bah, Sudoku is boring. Just nine symbols arranged in boxes, over and over and over. There's no creativity to it.

Non!

Oh good, I was looking for a way to annihilate my Christmas cards after the holiday.

I'll accept it, though the answer I was looking for was Alexandria. Way to suck the fun out of things, as opposed to the matter.

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

I was unavoidably detained, which, while inconvenient, prevented me from watching Gotham, so no harm done.

I'm not in it for the money. The money's just a way to keep score.

You know, in almost any other version of Gotham City, my teaming up with Oswald is a guaranteed good time. Here, however… I mean, my counterpart spent the entire episode comically failing to cover up a murder like some sort of Keystone Kriminal. And they were making such progress with him last week…

Let's find out!

It's Bruno Heller! Get him!

Now there's an idea. Where do I apply to host the Oscars? I mean, obviously I'll just end up hijacking the room with some armed goons, but one must observe the formalities.

Correct! And shockingly fast! Clearly after my long string of stumpers I've finally lowered the difficulty too far. Still, good to know where the level of the room is. For your prize, you win a pile of unopened wedding gifts. Fair warning, they're from Barbara's opening nightmare, so your guess is as good as mine…

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

Sometimes I just feel like letting your idiocy speak for itself.

TRAP, you say? Don't mind if I do!

Yes, you were close, but you didn't solve the whole thing. For the record, the answers were:
OED - Oxford English Dictionary, the last word on words
IP - Intellectual Property, or how Warner Bros. sees Batman
US - because a "vacuum" is filled with "Us"
REX - Latin for "king," because Tarquin was king of Rome
OEDIPUS REX -…

TIME'S UP! Seriously, AV Club, this is just sad. Damn it, I knew Supergirl would have this effect. Just for that, I'm not telling you the answer! You can all stew in your own juices for the night. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll drop back in and see if anyone's had an uncharacteristic brainstorm. So there!