Sounds like you could use some sympathy and basic human compassion. Boy, are you in the wrong place.

Do me a favor and stand on that giant red X on the floor over there when you do. It'll save us all some time.

I'm torn. On the one hand, I'm curious as to the thought process that led you to this utterly nonsensical guess, but on the other hand, I enjoy triggering booby traps. Oh well, talk fast.

Hm. Hackneyed.

Why thank you!

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!

We're not so different, you and I.

And with good reason!

"Lever me if you must," you say? Don't mind if I do!

The pit? Of course not, you got the right answer, and without flailing about helplessly like some commenters I could name. Good show, Willy Pete. No prize, unfortunately, but thanks for keeping the spirit of the game alive.

Oh yes, my favorite part, the post-riddle quibbling. Quibble away.

That's the spirit!

Otherwise known in underworld parlance as a pigeon, so already covered, thanks. Here's a tip: thinking about synonyms can be a helpful way to take one's mind off agonizing pain!

I commend your honesty and am horrified at your intellectual laziness. Make a note of it.

How very sad.

Yes, this is the correct answer. Which you reached on your fourth attempt, in truly pathetic fashion. Congratulations, you win nothing.

Even I'm not that cruel.

No, thank you, I will not try the veal, and I will not tip my waitress.

Two wrong answers in as many minutes. You, my friend, are really causing me to question the very concept of artificial intelligence.

Yes it does. But only one right answer. Which this isn't.