Here's a hint, EB: what comics series did Batman first appear in?

Damn you, Miller! I almost had them this time!

"Debt" is… incorrect!

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!
He who has it doesn't want it, and neither does he who searches for it.
Even if you make your own, it can take you years to pay for it.
Though a small child may carry it, it can crush the strongest man.
What is it?

That's not even good banter. See, this is why I typically deal with Batman. He makes the game fun.

None of those are particularly useful in the context of a diamond heist.

That's pretty cute, rootboy, but I have to point out that bomb plots aren't really my forte. Hmm, perhaps I should challenge Bats to Jeopardy as a publicity stunt. They'd probably make us donate the cash to charity, but it would be fun to see Batman suffer through a live public appearance.

There is that, but there are some other factors. I'm very busy right now running my detective agency (see Detective Comics for details), and so I don't have the time I used to have to devote to my own riddles. And I wanted to celebrate an old riddle that may not be very challenging anymore, but has some undeniable…

Yes, it's the future. That one's so old I suppose everyone knows it, but I still love it. Another reason to use it: I get to work in the theme of NEXT week's episode!

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!
This one's an old classic. What is it that is always right in front of you, but that you can never see?

That theory is ridiculous. A, it's an unbelievably stupid piece of wordplay. B, my name is Edward Nigma and I've never been tempted to change it. And C, I've never been as much of a pussy as Coleman Reese. If Reese turns out to be Nolan's version of me, I'll lose all respect for the man.

Oh, how nice for her.
And still I get shut out. Riddle me this, AV Club: why is Christoper Nolan so afraid of my genius?

Yes, many people feel that way about their intellectual superiors.

Yes, of course it's The Old Curiosity Shop. It's days like this that my love of literary references runs afoul of the existence of Wikipedia.

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!
Here's an easy one. What is Selina Kyle's least favorite Dickens novel?

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!
What's the saddest story on the Newswire today?

The answer is: steroids! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

RIDDLE ME THIS, AV CLUB!
What's the quickest way to get a Batman out of the cellar?

Ask and ye shall receive! One of the few things Bats and I agree on is that the Adam West series was not the best depiction of either of us. Alas, neither of us had any creative control, being outlaws and all. It's a big part of the reason I gave up on the leotard in favor of my current natty ensemble.

Evil nihilist anarchist? See, Gordon, this is what comes of hiring Frank Miller as a criminal profiler. I'm just a genius who loves riddles and semi-legal shenanigans. It's what makes me such a refreshing change from all the murderous psychotics like Joker and company.