@avclub-75e43c12ef9f1cfdaeae92ca6fa90640:disqus Oh, don't do that! You don't want to know where @avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus will put those worms. The Pediatric Proctologist had a permanent post in our local emergency room..he just stood there all day with elbow-length rubber gloves waiting for my…

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus While actually fucking your brother.

@avclub-792b765aa995daf26cf6f17f519c949d:disqus I'll try, but I'd bet I'd have a lot more fun with the pole than the flag, if you know what I mean, big boy :)

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus I'm giving you a pass on this one. American Dad sucks.

@avclub-75e43c12ef9f1cfdaeae92ca6fa90640:disqus I said that once after a nasty queef-shart combination about 30 years ago.

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus All of your decisions involve anonymous group sex in rest stops.

@avclub-33beffd09a1b020d1187c6b4b264014a:disqus Please don't encourage him. Trying and failing to be funny in these comments has been his full-time job for years and it isn't paying the rent. I need him out of my basement ASAP…the smell of buttholes and latex is starting to creep upstairs.

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus You can blame for a lot of things dear, but we both know it's the fact that you prefer male butthole to vagina that keeps the girls away.

Don't tell ridiculous stories, @avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus . That guy plowing me on the couch was absolutely not your father.

Now @avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus , stop projecting your childhood onto others. Most folks didn't scrape by on a crackwhore's meager salary, nor did they have the exorbinant crack or lubriciation costs we did. I'm sure this young man's abode is just lovely.

When you were in high school I knew a boy who drank Semen. It's a lukewarm beverage made from the ejaculate of old men who gave you nickels. Swear to God.

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus Takes one to know one! Just kidding, every time you've fucked a goat it was consenual. As far as I know.

Don't be so quick to judge son, if it weren't for polygamy that gang bang in which you were conceived might never have happened. Oh wait, that would have been a good thing. Carry on.

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus No, it's because you're retarded. My bad. I thought a little crack while pregnant wouldn't hurt.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I'd be self-fellating too if I sucked cock as well as you.

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus That doesn't make any sense. Why would ranch dressing come out of a penis? That was in your mouth. And belonged to an obese used cars saleman.

@avclub-472d722b57a4ed37e41e70c9c9d7d0f3:disqus This is the thanks for teaching you how to swallow semen in exchange for shiny nickels?? Hmmph.

I'm sorry dear, I don't get it. Nobody does. That's the point. You just aren't very funny.

I'll hold up my end, but that unfunny little scamp better give me a cut. Last time I got him a job sucking the cocks of closeted bikers outside a bar he pocketed all the nickels he earned and squandered them at the walk-in clinic curing the gonorrhea he got up his nose filiming Biker Gang Bukkake. What's the point…

What were you researching? What it would be like if you were attracted to women? I imagine the biggest difference would be that your breath would stop smelling like rotten hobo cock.