Gordon Cole works on a surface level, but he's no Leapin' Lanny Poffo.

May you be forever lithium resistant.

His inability to get meatier roles also infuriates Mickey Rourke, who champions Roberts in interviews, claiming he's a better actor than the bulk of today's big name stars.

AV Club Avatar.

I was born naked with a cord wrapped around my neck, and god willing, I'll die naked with a cord wrapped around my neck.

And this year's Oscar for best set-design goes to…15oo nameless Korean guys. Unfortunately, 1500 nameless Korean guys could not afford to be here, so their award will be accepted by Watson.

Franklin Mint Commemorative Plate.

It's not your fault. You just picked a bad day. It's a rare breed that's hungry for a ham-like substance after being exposed to man-ass framed in a Christmas sweater. Even a rarer breed that's hungry for Snickers, now that I think about it…

I can think of several reasons to watch Toney v. Couture. Kindly take the following yes or no test:

Don't have alot of faith in network television, but ain't no denyin' that fables is pretty, pretty pretty good.

Not sure this is a great idea
I'm kinda starting to regret my friendster back-piece already.

I miss Sandman Simms…

The movie's actually pretty boring until

Fuck the peacock. I was born a magpie man and I'll die a magpie man.

Ladies and gentlemen, we hope you enjoyed our presentation of "A Lohan Family Christmas".

Awfully hard to keester, though. Just sayin…

I was damn close to having a stripper family assembled at one point and not too far removed from a whore family at another. But hat's off to Charlie, this is taking it to a whole new level.

My friends and I played fantasy football for 8 years for relatively high stakes. We had an over-the-top draft party and our own dedicated trash-talking web-site (Go Taints!). I should be the target audience for this show. But seriously, comparing 'The League' to 'Louie' is like comparing 'Outsourced' to 'Curb Your…

He's also a big fan of jowls.

No animals were harmed during the filming of this movie.