I would love for her to settle into an only mildly self-destructive lifestyle with Samantha Ronson or some other slightly age-inappropriate, strung-out ol' clam that proves to Hollywood once and for all the healing power of embracing one's homosexuality. Perhaps I am saying this in no small part because I want to see…

You know those night vision goggles that are, like…triple night vision goggles?

You know those night vision goggles that are, like…triple night vision goggles?

This would be a very sweet interview if you didn't know who Adam Sandler was

This would be a very sweet interview if you didn't know who Adam Sandler was

I know I spelled it wrong up there but actually the cherry on the frosted pop star titty that is that song is the fact that Katy Perry named a song in tribute to Alex Chilton

I know I spelled it wrong up there but actually the cherry on the frosted pop star titty that is that song is the fact that Katy Perry named a song in tribute to Alex Chilton

SORRY DUMMIES, CALIFORNIA GIRLS FOREVER

SORRY DUMMIES, CALIFORNIA GIRLS FOREVER

I had to take an hour-long break in the middle of listening to CBB at work because I was crying laughing at Woody Allen singing the Entourage theme song and even after I paused  the show I kept laughing like an idiot just thinking about it. This has been a gory true-life tale of The Kind Of Person Who Posts On The AV…

I had to take an hour-long break in the middle of listening to CBB at work because I was crying laughing at Woody Allen singing the Entourage theme song and even after I paused  the show I kept laughing like an idiot just thinking about it. This has been a gory true-life tale of The Kind Of Person Who Posts On The AV…

It makes me feel like I'm leaving an important funeral

It makes me feel like I'm leaving an important funeral

Which will be viewed by more people, this untelevised ceremony or John Carter?

Which will be viewed by more people, this untelevised ceremony or John Carter?

Watch out nerds, they kill two more ex-presidents and they're cancelled

Watch out nerds, they kill two more ex-presidents and they're cancelled

Man, FreeRepublic was nuts when I last really paid attention to it during the 2008 election - I genuinely can not imagine how looney tunes it is after four more years of ideological purges aaaaand having to actually live under President B. Hussein O.

Man, FreeRepublic was nuts when I last really paid attention to it during the 2008 election - I genuinely can not imagine how looney tunes it is after four more years of ideological purges aaaaand having to actually live under President B. Hussein O.

God this is just the All Around Bad Times version of Community click/comment bait at this point