Holy fuck at the fact that Marvin exists outside of 1989-91

I see your little, petrified skull…labeled and resting on a shelf somewhere.

I'm going to flip a coin to pick between Kimora Lee Simmons and Andy Dick

Do they still make those things? I feel like I may have actually received a Far Side desk calendar as a Christmas present during the Obama administration.

Prime-period Boondocks is the best comic strip with the worst lettering ever. It was like he was lettering that shit in Lion King Print Studio.

I am minorly obsessed with whatever weird shit is going on mentally with George Lucas in a way that nearly eclipses my childhood fixation on Star Wars, in much the same way as whatever personality disorder Mike Myers has is probably more entertaining than So I Married An Axe Murderer

My new month's resolution is to refrain from all disgustingly OTT internet harpy vitriol except where Nick Kroll is concerned

Nick Kroll should have been euthanized and dumped into a garbage chute like that baby in The Giver five minutes after they finished taping his shitty Comedy Central special.

Oh shit, I know exactly what you're talking about but didn't even know those were a thing. They're a lot uglier and less visually interesting than Toynbee tiles so I assumed they were just a project of a locally-based mediocrity of a BFA student

Finally the long-running AV Club mystery of how Kenan Thompson got a spot on the iCarly/Victorious crossover episode has been solved

Good thing I got to read this string of English words today

Carson Ellis hand-scratched a charmingly twee drawing of Calvin dressed as an Irish wood nymph or some shit taking a leak on your avatar right into the first 500 vinyl pressings

VeggieTales special guest star

Six seasons and a prequel.

On the Friday of the "Lee-Jackson" holiday, a pulley system will be used to lower a pair of sunglasses and a banner that reads "DEAL WITH IT" onto the monument and then it'll all make more sense

She's a theater weirdo Amelie doesn't want to fuck

Dano's weirdass Thanksgiving gourd head is too round, Joey Ramone looked like a land shark with Marfan's syndrome. Not all weird-looking white guys look alike, that's the last acceptable prejudice!!

I AM A FALSE PROPHET AND THE OWNERSHIP SOCIETY IS A SUPERSTITION!!!

My mama has a bigger crush on Franco than I do. Even as an 11th-grader fresh outta a showing of the first Spiderman I wouldn't have been so enchanted as to defend his Oscars performance.

Now do a Faygo x Third Man designer collaboration Redpop label