Vanity was blatantly gay, Brainy was quietly gay, Smurfette eventually had something snap and ran away to join an old radfems' home separatist retirement community

Drop Dead Gorgeous was the funniest shit ever when I was 14 which is why I don't really have a problem believing that it was pointlessly mean-spirited and awful

The real reason Lex Luthor turned to a life of crime is that he didn't get that tenure track position at Middlebury

I died when I saw that fucking Far Side cartoon. So perfect

Man, fuck that, I want a scene in the show itself where Hank is going over an inch-thick file of Gale's five-paragraph comments on Classic Doctor Who reviews

On one hand I feel bad for him; on the other hand he should try checking out the comments sections on interviews with NBC Thursday Night ingenues while keeping in mind that someone in AV Club editorial usually goes through those things to delete the more colorful rape fantasies

Haha, seriously. If 16-year-old Violet Crumbles had been assigned Slaugterhouse-Five in high school you bet your ass that instruction manual for sin would have gone totally unread but for the excerpts included in the PG-rated Spark Notes. But if it'd been Officially Banned? Shit dude

pl;vi (perfect length; very impressive)

I'm going to print this comment out and make it into a little laminated card to carry around in my left-hand front jeans pocket.

That's true but at the same time I'd only be 3.5/10 surprised to see it show up in the next season of Community

Referring to Superman as "Kal-El" is such a good crazy person trait

I hope the next season ends with Walt dying and the final season is 35 HD episodes of Skyler menstruating blood clots in shapes that spell out "FIREFLY WAS CHEESY, AV CLUB SUCK MY BALLZ"

Zack Snyder is like 40 and he spells it with a K instead of a CH, god forbid we roll you into the nursing home with a CHARY

Zack Snyder has no taste at all, that is what kills me. You could give this shitty movie to some lame-ass, boring Oscar-bait director and it would basically suck but at least it wouldn't be the filmic equivalent of a bronzed No Fear t-shirt.

By "after" I mean "before". Fuck this gay earth

Too soon?? I think I heard that one for the first time five months after Christopher Reeve got thrown off that horse as part of a Tasteless Jokes Told By Uncles Illuminati focus group

On the secret AV Club For Girls alternate site that they give you access to after you comment on a Gossip Girl review, every single reasonable discussion of this interview is just a rote, obligatory drive-by "I'd Doctor his Cox" comment

I was kind of thinking while watching The Social Network that Eisenberg should play Spider-Man and Garfield should play Harry Osborn, because the Power of Franco is such that despite having read the comics and watched the cartoons since before the last time I peed on myself I kind of forgot that Harry is sorta…

Haha
In the Ultimate Universe, theft of likeness rights is the sincerest form of flattery

It's weird that The Zookeeper is fucking a hot Scientologist who looks like there's lip gloss rolled all over her face!