Beyoncé had one of the best Cat's In The Cradle gags of all time. Of all time!

"Gloria…knows it's all fake, but goes anyway because it still gives her comfort,
or makes her feel closer to her grandmother, or it's family tradition,
or something."

My mind is SPUUUURT

Yeah, how 'bout we just don't do a Portal movie? That'd be swell.

The longer the Greek and Roman gods live, the more they can see why I was so popular.

"Yes", then?

Can't we just throw a wig on Amy Poehler and call it a day?

I did not expect them to look exactly how their band sounds.

Did you see that Zach? F.K.—in the coffee!

@PaganPoet:disqus oh you just dun gone and hurt this Marina & the Diamonds fan right here.

Oh you with the wanting to know of the whether your brood will be able to slither out of her angry loins with minimal risk of mortality versus if she's too waifish for your egg beater casserole!

What does the Oscar fall off of?

Well, it does make sense if you think about it. Like Jesus, Chris Brown has the potential to unite us against evil. It's just that he's evil he's uniting us against. Because he's the hero we deserve.

@Scrawler2:disqus, Fisherman's Wife/Christina Hendricks crossover? Welp, I just crashed every computer in my house!

Tina Fey'll be playing Liz Lemon as Tina Fey as a prison guard as a muppet, probably.

I find myself…aroused?

Final sentence is perfect.

Oh god I like this post way too much.

"These sure smell weird for plum seeds."

What do they think they're protecting? The brand image of Storage Wars? That's what they're trying to preserve by not admitting anything? These are amazing times we live in.