Right, they guy in the $6,000 prospector suit is supposed to paint himself gold?  COME ON!

Jesus, can't we just focus on the *really* funny part of that comment - the idea that the Make a Wish foundation set this up.
"You there, sick little girl, how can the Make-a-Wish foundation brighten your days as you battle this tragic illness?"
"I want to fuck the guy who played Tooms!"

MONSTER MASH

Um, do you not know what Lucy Lawless looks like? I'd cast my vote for her as second hottest Cylon. But I agree that she'd be better as an elf than as Galadriel.

The *jazz hands* are what got me.
Well done.

A tiger gotta turn back into a chinese dude at midnight.

What in god's holy name are you blathering on about?

We had a different VHS workout tape when I was little - different people, that is, but same awful leotards and hair. The only other thing I remember was the girls' ridiculous breathing. Man, in the '80's they sure did love their breathing! And coke.

Sorry, I forgot they said DiCaprio was Gatsby (who made that awful casting decision? I mean, he's good, but I always pictured Gatsby … prettier.)

Is Aaron Eckhart too old to play Gatsby?
Ehh, probably.

Is that true, Sr. Bagocrap? I always just assumed it was with a velar nasal, which exists phonetically in english, just never word-initially. But I've never actually looked into it.

I have a friend who is small and blonde, and I've been trying to get her to come to our party as Jon Benet Ramsey.

Wait, what? I happened to be in SF for Halloween a few years ago (2004?) and we went to the Castro and it was the craziest motherfucking party I ever… Oh, I see the problem.

Who would want to go into that dusty old claptrap?

Nothing ever begged so badly to be read in the voice of Werner Herzog.

Ah! The black bachelorette party! I saw it in the background (only when I watched the West Coast version, for some reason) and thought "that must be a joke that I'm not getting." Now it makes sense!
The German Haunted House line was also funny, as the general freakiness of German porn has come up at least twice in…

Ooh, I'm with Super Karate Monkey Death Car. JLD was funny (I laughed out loud, or "LOL'ed," as the kids say), but the Palin Porn Star Lady (from the Porn Liz episode) would have been pants-shittingly hilarious.

I tried to Gilliamogrify my photos too, but somehow the first set got lost. So I had to find my old copies and try again, but this time it overloaded my computer circuits and my apartment caught on fire. So I moved and bought a new computer and tried to recreate the old photos, only to discover that half the…

"… while *I* was trying to explain…" Stupid pronouns.

@ Monty Park - thank you. I had lengthy discussions this summer with a couple British/European friends who were trying to explain the "Chav" phenomenon, while was trying to explain "Douchebag." We came to the conclusion that they must be the same thing, or at least within the same genus.