Joliet Des Moines used to have a huge crush on Montgomery Bismarck, but he (she?) was way out of her (his?) league.

LETTERMAN STRIKES AGAIN

I need to explain why this was funny to me? Okay:

I saw Titanic at least twice in the theater (hey, I was a teenaged girl, as were my friends), but I've never found Leo particularly attractive*, so that can't be it.

"But if you think Shia Laboeuf isn't a box office draw, you're wrong (and also you're overestimating the taste of the American public). "

I'm with Hunsweasel. "Allison Fucking Janney" indeed.

*I AM happy to say that I only ATE at..*

I happy to say that I only at McDonalds in Moscow when I was fantastically drunk. (It's open late and has a walk-up window right on the sidewalk!)

Ah yes, "Les Cousins Dangereux"

He's running out of things to do to avoid reading a book.

(Sorry, this post contains no food jokes).

Okay, it's been fixed. Thanks!

HEY AV CLUB, WHICH NON-NATIVE SPEAKER WROTE ENTRY #25?
"Buffy and her friends wandered through dreamscapes, battled a god, LOSED people dear to them, and sang and danced."

Staircar won this thread not once, but twice.

O I C U 8 1 M I ?

When someone says "go ahead" to my dad, he says, "Goat head? Who're you callin' a goathead?"

And werewolves.

Damn, Hot Dogs' science is too tight.

He was in Star Trek?

So, the guy with the top of a horse and the bottom of a human walks into a bar. For centaurs.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"