@Isaac Yankem: you actually put that gum in your mouth?!? Bad idea — the only good use for those things were as emergency ceiling tiles.

"FRIEND?"
"We ARE helping! We're helping hands!"
"Voodoo! Who do? You do …"

Not as shocking as what she seemed to do in the film, but yes.

Yeah, he already has a gig — he was just doing this out of the kindness of his heart. Or something.

Okay, help me out here — you read interviews with a porn star, and were surprised when she turned out to be shallow? Are you shocked when the sun comes up in the morning too?

And so will Andy Pants and phodreaw — if someone pays them to.

So you're a Scientologist?

No fair — you just caused me to spray my monitor with orange juice!

Nah, that was Mike Reno.

Bob Dylan:Bruce Springsteen::Johnny Cash:John Mellencamp. Discuss.

Firstamundo!
Having not seen Gaspar Noe's previous work, I'm pretty sure I won't bother seeing this one either.

In Russia, crime commits you!

I've got 29 cents. Who the heck is Ashley Jensen?

I'm still guessing "gates of paradise." That's the one euphemism for vagina you can use in front of women that doesn't make them want to scalp you.

No, no — that was VH1

Jenna Elfman is still fun to ogle in certain situations. We don't have enough ogling these days. Everyone is so rush, rush, rush — no poetry.

In English, please?

Also Boston in the late 1970s — Keith Olbermann used to reference "Anthonyyyyy!" for Anthony Mason highlights on SportsCenter.

Zonker, we don't deserve you.

I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.