True story: I'm working out in the fitness room at the local community center when I heard "We Made You" for the first time. I was in such shock at how ridiculously HORRIFIC it was that I turned to a guy walking by and said, "Eminem has officially flipped his lid."

@Victor Mature: WINNER!!!!!!!

Goish, ZMF, we've missed you. Oh, wait … no, we haven't. Never mind. Sorry.

This would never have happened if Spike Lee was alive.

"Donny, you're out of your element!"

@JVS: +100 INTERNETS!

They should have Eminem as Dr. Jekyll, Lohan as Mr. Hyde.

Agree with Mr. Schrude. Plus, "Detox Mansion" deserves its own film.

For all of you hating on the 2/Boogaloo meme, I have only one thing to say:

Oh, that's no spoiler — we all know THAT!

How about a biopic of Boom Boom Mancini, using the Zevon song of the same name (still one of his greatest songs IMNVHO).

A regular slap in the face? Or a slap in the face by Lindsay Lohan? Because getting slapped in the face by Lindsay Lohan wouldn't be so bad, would it?

@JDB: A Superfozzie rating system would totally rock. Would the top rating be "Wocka-wocka-wocka"?

And then they gave that piece of cinematic toilet paper Angels & Demons & Tom Hanks Acting Like a Douchebag a C! A C!!!! - instead of the F-minus-minus-minus it deserved! That's like a slap in the face … times 10! It's like a slap in the ballsacular area! I'm so enraged I'm going to cancel my Onion A.V. Club…

Hey, who doesn't like a pair of nice eyebrows? Makes you just want to reach out and run your fingers through her forehead …

Well, it probably doesn't think much of you either.

@Waquoit: right on the money! In fact, I was thinking that the "Why it's going to be awesome" blurb for The Ugly Truth should have been, "Guys, you'll get to stare at Katherine Heigl's jeeblies for two hours, and since she — and more importantly, they — are in a chick flick, not only will your significant other not…

@Bronsonman and all other Simba-haters: die of canceraids, in a fire, with Roger Clemens and his bacne.

C'mon, Jorel, he's going with his proven winner. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, does fake insincerity like he can.

I can't afford a Beyoncealike. Where can I go to order a cheaper Rihannalike?