Speaking of Star Wars and torture, let's not forget that Han Solo was put through the ringers while at Cloud City, and, as he said "they didn't even ask me any questions."

Wasn't Idris Elba
one of the cities where Frodo hung out in Lord of the Rings?

You should try working for a gynecologist. Or perhaps as personal assistant to Eve Ensler.

Remember Run DMC on Reading Rainbow?
Oh yes indeed I like to read, 'cause reading's fun,
And not just me, I'm DMC, but also Run,
From the front to the back as pages turn,
Reading is a very fresh way to learn!
So if you look into a book, you might just say
I had fun
Just like Run
DMC
AND JAY!

I bet Wollowitz's mom is secretly hot.

Two days ago I saw a rig big enough to haul that tanker. You wanna get out of here?

If movies have taught me anything
It is that Australia is filled with leather-clad, mohawked barbarians who roam the outback searching for gasoline, Crocodiles and Yahoo Serious.

You can borrow my special popcorn bucket.

You can't tell from here, but his organs are being cooked from the inside.

"I'm balloonin' my ass off up here!"

Thought of another one I use a lot:

"Not to mention Kermit the damn FROG!!" is a great way to end any point you're trying to make in an argument.

NewsRadio quotes I use
"Then one day Ted met an elf named Maaaatheeeewwww." - best when sung.

I only whistle when the wind hits my ears just right.

I didn't say Scientologists weren't weird. I just was commenting that it's sort of an easy target to go after.

Oh I get it
It's 'cause Scientologists are weird, huh?

Did we learn nothing from Degrassi Jr. High?
Just give these kids an egg with a smiley face drawn on with a sharpie.

I can't be the only one who wants to hear David Archuletta's soulful, piano-based arrangement of "Whip It."

You're also forgetting the landmark "H.R. Pufnstuf vs. Ronald McDonald" case.

Yeah, I clearly didn't do my market research on this one.