I don't like soft-ass shit.

And then pour in the petrol.

One thing: they could've decided not to make it. That would've been a vast improvement. Really, the praise that film receives is grotesquely misplaced. Now, Howard Hawks' Scarface, on the other hand, is a gem.

That's not true. At all. Not even parenthetically. India, for example, makes more than three times the number of films made by the US. But, yes, they're all shat out.

Yes, wild generalisations used to conveniently satisfy a dismissive attitude tend to be idiotic. Including this one.

No, no, no, no, no. The joke is about the number of shots. Y'see if he pours one more shot, it's the whole bottle. He'll drink all that tequila but won't finish the bottle? That's the joke. I mean everyone knows that tequila drinkers are sex mad, so it's no surprise what they do with dicks.

Have we, in fact, established that the fudgesicle was Cage's to begin with? I think Freud would have a lot say about a person who thinks he's seen a naked man wearing his leather jacket and holding his "fudgesicle".

Timeo Danaos et dona fudgesicle.
— The Rock

I always liked, "Plane crashes into cemetary. Hundreds dead."

Who was that?

She thinks she's one of the Furies. But, yes, she's a Gorgon.

There's also an unused condom in there… well, I wouldn't use it.

There was also Tombstone which, for all its problems, was a lot of fun. And Michael Biehn was APE-SHIT crazy and therefore provided most of the fun (the rest provided by Val Kilmer, but that's a separate argument).

Where, then, will Expendables 2 be listed, do we think? I s'pose it's fair to say he'll be going Crazy Cage, but Good or Bad? I see that Simon West is slated to direct, the same man who directed him in Con Air. This must augur well.

Icon Kerr

He gave up on giving up.

So maybe we can start a biopic on Michael Bolton or Celine Dion…

I once said to someone at a party, "you shouldn't snort that line or you'll get a small penis." Then she slapped me.

Abso Lu

I'm also a Steve. At sixteen I declared to my friends at a party that henceforth I be Ted.