I switched onto that scene on HBO and thought it was one of Deep Blue Sea's deleted shark feeding scenes.

Donald Trump: Waddles of Love

So between her and Captain Crusty Balls, the pool filtration system gave out and the hotel is suing for damages?

People who say it's just a dog are what I call "former acquaintances or coworker whom I barely tolerate".

He did promise to cure cancer next week, so if we're lucky he won't be all 45* all the time.

"In five hundred separate dick pics, he has gone from micropeen to hooded anaconda and from nearly translucent to running off the Sherwin Williams color wheel. He's the most interesting man in the world."

That quote is just begging for a "let's find out" rejoinder.

I thought it was Duff getting kicked out of Guns N Roses for getting high too much.

I've learned to try taking a nap between reading something and commenting to avoid going in all hot and bothered.

"It sucks when you know your children laugh at you, right Sean?"

I think the legal counsel system will work better if the lawyers were actually part of an independent branch, be it part of the Congressional GAO or Supreme Court's clerk offices, instead of being appointed by the president's discretion.

You forget that war is something everybody in government seems to have a boner for.

Dubya's pretty fit from all that working out and brush clearing, but this only works if you like more missionary than a 17th century Portuguese expedition to Brazil.

And a few masochists.

2018: Hey, I'm here in the on-deck circle, wondering if the game is going to rain out.

Looking at the Secret Service's past escapades, I'm surprised there's no dick pic scandals with them yet.

"That's fascinating, Ms. Chastain, please continue."

Let's hope this becomes the norm, not the exception.

"You think you're stalking Bryce Dallas Howard, but when you get near your mark, she turns out to be Jessica Chastain. Then Bryce Dallas Howard attacks you from your side. Not the front, the side. With her sharp high heels and severe business suit angles. All you can say at the end is 'clever girls..' as you watch…

I'd just pretend to lose my balance and head butt him.