True story: half the time I order a sundae at a McDonald's drive-through and ask for crushed peanuts, some crazy crackhead runs out and tries to stomp my balls.

The Mason Verger stuff in Hannibal (the TV show) greatly improved on the book and movie.

Before 9/11 Ailes needed to make sure the ladies knew when his dick was out -> no walls

I'm imagining the insides of these pants getting mold growths on them like what you see on the plastic shower curtains in out-of-the-way motels where you have an equal chance of witnessing a murder, a meth deal, a john getting busted, or a combination of the three.

"my truths"

Which is slightly confusing since we ended up with a c*nt as a president.

Coming soon from Dick Wolf: Chicago Chicago Chicago. A murder-mystery heats up as a dead body shows up on a theatrical revue of the musical Chicago, playing in Chicago's Chicago Theater. Starring Chris Meloni as Eliot Stabler-trying-to-start-an-acting-career.

Tony Jaa tried it once:
https://youtu.be/X4b1jFHAC98

I can't believe the cover feature column wasn't titled "Top 12 Happy Places To Go When Your Uncle-Daddy Has One Of Those Cloudy Moods".

Look, we're not required to be respectful to Jones because the chemtrails told me that Jones can eat wet dog shit.

[Tom Brady gets suspended 6 games, just in case]

45*: "I would like to especially congratulate Danny Amendola on that magnificent circus catch you did."

So…..White Man Problems: The Movie?

The URL truncated to "Netflix. com/tit", which is probably a more popular search term than we all would like to admit.

There's only one proper place to sing your national anthem: sing it to your captors while being a POW.

If a crazy dipshit bugs out away from cable news, do we give a fuck?

In related news, Mexican cinemas….just show the movies while American tourists walk by making dumb quips.

It will probably finally bring Vin out of the closet.

I saw a Newswire headline starting with "Dolly Parton…" and damn near had a fucking heart attack.

That's because: