On IOS 10.2 here. When I open the comment box, the whole screen goes white so I can't see what I'm typing. Also the page borders on non-Newswire articles are all fucked up too.

As someone with a family full of hereditary illnesses and doctors, if you find Jesus after a health scare you are too ignorant or prideful to listen to your doctor's explanations.

I really want him to play Bizzaro Ben Carson in an SNL taped segment or something

A Vietnamese reality TV personality will come to your house and offer to wipe your face.

Your local county and state election boards will give you upcoming elections - and there are random elections all the time that turn out to be important - from there, you can track the incumbents for their published websites (all of the representatives and senators have one, probably most state-wide office holder…

The slow roll-out is something the ACA also did, as parts of the requirements started becoming enforced at varying degrees ramping up to this year.

Great, now I'm wistfully thinking about my failed garage band all day.

I don't believe Trump speculated about Ivanka's breasts even once. But that's mainly because I think he knows what implant size he bought her.

Unused dialog from that scene:

There's no phallic imagery in that scene at all, what are you thinking? I mean one giant metal flying shaft destroys another metal flying shaft and removes the manly essence from inside it. There's no fucking way that's homoerotic at all.

Ahem, not even Obama, but rather someone at the DOJ or FBI had to have prepared a brief to submit to the FISA court.

The next Mackenzie I meet at a bar will probably get drunkenly called 'nzie'.

Having this whole movie be a giant JaVale McGee troll would be….brilliant actually.

Back in 2001-2004 I was mailed enough AOL CDs to make a piece of wall art at the apartment.

Thank you for the column, Mike. I feel like I've learned things I didn't know before about movies and arts in general from your column and a few other places. That's down to these great critics (I count you among them) being able to articulate their opinions and reasoning.

Several children, actually. I would gladly contribute to the legal fund of whoever leaks the actual mission pre-op intel and post-op reports.

[Kris Kardashian is currently figuring out which daughter to offer up to this new rap sensation Young Sean]

Look, if Dick Wolf could manage to bring a Law & Order show back that doesn't have a "rape is bad" core message, maybe 45 will shut the fuck up about Chicago not having law and order for once.

Next: Gary from Chicago didn't give a fuck about the white celebrities —-> GARY FROM CHICAGO IS THE REAL RACIST HERE

"Casey Affleck paid for his crimes"
[citation needed]