So, um….serious question: choker or tickler?

So they're making a love quadrangle, right? There's no way this doesn't climax with Diesel, The Rock and Theron drag racing for a spot in Helen Mirren's heart (and loin).

I've always preferred John Oliver's description from right after the London bombings: "Fucking assholes". I refuse to be scared by them or concede that they represent any ideologies or radicalism beyond their fucking assholery.

[consults rule book]

Did Cleveland feature sewage pits that emit foul methane and occasionally exploded?

The Farting Boner Corpse in Black should clear $2 billion box office, easy.

Buddha says he got big balls.

"There is no button"

I agree. It's one thing to talk shit about a person you have an actual beef with, but it's another level of assholery to burn a whole crew who didn't do anything to him.

She's 31?

Bruce Willis also came back pretty hard at Smith, saying he didn't grasp basic filmmaking skills like blocking, lense work and lighting.

Jeremy Irons is always diplomatic. He stopped just shy of finishing that sentence with "..of horseshit". Just like him giving interviews about the Lolita remake saying it was an uncomfortable experience (because of…).

Great, now there's 50 more Tumblrs-worth of Idris Elba-as-Murtaugh fanfic.

"Donald Trump makes John Boehner look like an albino"
- Lindsey Graham after a few drinks and 10 minutes staring at Trevor Noah bending over a pool table

Fuck, I'm cracking open Hitchhiker's Guide To The Universe again tonight, aren't I?

He is? Dammit, now I have to rewrite my fanfic to be mostly hate-fucking.

Vietnamese diners' inner monologues: "White people have taken this food selfie thing to new extremes. Now there's a camera crew and an Obama impersonator involved. Wait a minute.."

This was probably explained better by a bunch of threads on the previous posts, but basically Dr. Luke's label is very intertwined with a bunch of artists and revenue streams to which Sony is contractually obligated. TL;DR - Sony thinks it costs more to sever ties with Dr. Luke/Kemosabe than to stay put, and the…

Be forgotten by all.

Yes, so Dr. Luke possibly raped her, but he also most definitely produced and was the primary influence for the music that sucks.