I'm just impressed that Trebek didn't go for any "get them back to work in the kitchen" quip after Louis CK's description of the fistula foundation.

Or rather, he Gerard Depart-deux'd all over the stage.

Come for the Nicole Kidman golden shower, stay for the other crazy-ass shit that make the Nicole Kidman golden shower seem reasonable.

..or she just likes to look at the poster while she farts.

Wait, why does it look like Optimus Prime has a metallic vagina on his face?

Local man feels like idiot when he sees his comment has nothing to do with Newswire post, is later called out for editing without proper disclosure.

Yeah, but in a connected universe they're writing, it's kind of hard to buy Ross coming in and nobody (ahem, Nat) going "I know who you are, asshole. Bruce screams your name in bed."

Second problem: naming a movie Money Monster and failing to make it about Cookie Monster's dope-ass cookie trading career.

Finally saw Civil War. Had a lot of fun throughout the movie and catharsis at the end, except one thing almost ruined the movie for me: who the fuck decided that listening to General "Dumbass" Ross was a good idea?

Just here?

Also, a "Wellness Mandingo", which is actually a lot more boring that the name implies.

Ocean's 1 sounds like its tag line would be "The journey of one lucky sperm".

Crazy thing is, if you went it to a room with these people and shouted "STEW BEEF" every single one of them will think you're calling him/her.

You misspelled "snort" and "cocaine".

So who thinks that if Facebook removes any screening from trending stuff we will end up with some combination of dick pics, racist bullshit, and Senator Thune's collection of ball gags?

Or a monster that collects heads?

If it's not the WALKER, TEXAS RANGER LEVER, no sale.

Obviously it's a symbol for vagina: FedEx is a covert dildo delivery conglomerate that has a hidden nefarious plan.

I was driving through Atlanta and saw a billboard that simply said "PRINCE 1958 - 2016" and wondered who threw onions into my car.

Dammit, how'd you get a hold of my fax?