Of the PJ albums that I have, the only ones that actually get any kind of play are the live "bootlegs" they released in recycled-paper sleeves back around '99-'02.

Fake Rock Music for Fake Human Being - makes sense to me.

No, no, no, you're mistaking grain with G-Rain, the K-pop band that was popular in ancient Egypt for some reason.

It's cock. It's always cock.

This just in: John Waters passion project Sexy Unicorn Love greenlit, given $ 230 million budget, to star Radcliffe. The unicorn will be motion-captured Andy Serkis.

Went past extended to engorged.

"Dear God, we developed corn out of millenia of agricultural selection. Why the fuck do white people think you did it?"

One year I actually asked a relative to think about the day when he's on his deathbed and think about how many days of politics-induced anger would he like to trade with days he can spend with his grandkids because he didn't piss off his daughter-in-law.

Why do people insist on misunderstanding ranks, mapping multidimensional spaces, and sparsity? That's the kind of shitty math that led to the disbandment of the Ba'athist Iraqi army!

[MRA troll comes along to tell all the women to shut the fuck up with their lamentations or whatever gross shit they're going on about]

I'm going to do mine low-key and let the germ warfare do the heavy lifting.

I know Carrie Fisher is not 20 anymore, but there's no need to be cruel about it.

Christ, that line reads more and more like the preamble to Cool Uncle: The Jerry Sandusky Story.

I'm surprised there wasn't a "Foot Fetish" call in there somewhere.

Reading your description made me vomit in my mouth a little bit.

What about the new, ground-breaking, "No, not in this hole, that hole" genre?

Here's the part where I point out that literally hundreds of thousands of people are named with a two-of-three combination of "Muhammad" "Ahmed" "Ali". Or that there's more Koreans named "Kim" than Americans named "Smith".

You ever woke up from a nice long sleep and thought for a second that there's a yellow cock hovering above your face?

That's a lot of unintentional allusions to semen. It's like they know Dikachu's holiday schedule.

Three viable sperms are all he got?