Man, if someone told Haneke that he made Crash look subtle, he might jump off a bridge.

I rented Cache (Hidden) pretty much on a whim because I saw it got decent grades around here. No idea what to expect. It ended up affecting me deeply because when you strip away the techniques he used to put you in one character's POV the whole time, you see yourself in the story. And I eventually realized it's a…

It's also about the bump and grind of day-to-day work. All the ins and outs and choking and taint-scrubbing and whatnot.

That's some Lynch-ian shit right there.

We better get to work on the cock then.

"That's a trick question, Bill. We all know that these comedy shows have their highest ratings and best reviews when they do a somber monologue after a terrorist attack. You're goddamned right Jon Stewart did 9/11."

I do like the fact that Colbert seems to have started his show right in the "this is what I do and I don't give a fuck" zone.

TONIGHT

Twist! It was never about black culture, it's always been about how the white dude perceived black culture.

White Power-of-attorney

Counterpoint: there once was a show called Outsourced. The least offensive thing about it was the curry-induced explosive diarrhea joke.

WHITE JEFF: FEEL THE MAYONNAISE

Statistically, everybody gets herpes by 2043.

"The script to the sequel had Jesus defeating all these A-rab genies and muslim warriors and shit, and they can't have it because Disney is afraid they'll lose the war on Christmas!"
- Fox & Friends

Hey, there's like eight people in Alaska somewhere who don't have herpes. Otherwise, yeah.

I'll accept it only if there's a 5-minute rant about privacy laws, right before he busts in a door without a warrant.

"Get you blaster out of my face!"

To be fair, we don't know what ghost-Obi-Wan's been doing off-screen. It's possible that he shows up in Vader's chambers and incessantly makes fun of his burnt-out dick stump, and Vader can't force-choke a ghost, so he gets bummed out until he gives up on the dark side.

For the last time, quit whipping out your dick in the pantry!

Now I know for a fact you're not the actual San Diego-area private detective Hank Dolworth, you cheddar-headed impostor.