Let's start a covert program that abducts Ryan Murphy after the pilot script is done and replace him with, say, Brian Fuller. Because Brian Fuller's American Horror Story would probably be the best, and maybe a stealth Hannibal season.

Accidental farts, on the other hand, are never not funny.

Yeah, I also learned the hard way to get rid of as much shit as possible when you move.

You know when's a good time to revisit most of these classics? Any time.

See whenever I get into a heated argument, I just throw in a non-sequitur to make sure the guy's not just some asshole looking to start shit: "YOU GODDAMNED RIGHT JESUS CHRIST WOULD NOT RUN A TAMPA-2 DEFENSE AGAINST A POWER RUN FORMATION, IT'S IN REVELATIONS!"

Hey, if you see a 40-foot tall Gloria Swanson coming at you, your balls would sound a hasty retreat as well. It's a natural reaction.

In a stunning reversal, the protesting parents were all on MC Hammer's entourage back in the 90s.

Hello, Travis.

I don't think two dimensions are enough to depict the beefing/fucking/guest-rapping/producing entanglements of modern hip-hop. You might have to go full Homeland here.

Well, a violence-adverse director can remake Commando as Going Commando: Freeballin' for Democracy.

"Suppressive motherfuckers, the lot of yous!"

Just to - ahem - ram home the point, Indy will use this phrase as the safe word.

FOR THE LAST TIME, MA, SHE PICKED THAT NAME OUT HERSELF TO MAKE FUN OF YOU. THE POPE NEVER OFFICIALLY BEATIFIED HER.

Since TBS is somewhat affiliated with CNN, let's see if we can send Wolf Blitzer and Conan O'Brien as Bourdain's sidekicks around the world. Mainly because I want to see CNN's version of An Idiot Abroad and get Blitzer far the fuck away from any "news" "reporting".

"St. Vincent continues to disappoint us by being a totally normal person who will actually work to help out family."
- Internet

This being in Texas, and you being Mexican, maybe you'd like to rethink that tires-screeching part.

You know what? I don't think it's even an Internet-specific thing anymore. Last night I saw the 60 Minutes piece that ran after Obama's interview and decided that humanity is probably better off being extinct in its current form.

To make this statement consistent with the movie-universe: Furiosa had to go to Valhalla to kick War Boy asses one more time.

Since I'm not the arbiter of twinks, I'll defer to more knowledgeable commenters.

Nauseating for some, thrilling for others, miniature flags for everyone else.