Judd Apatow is like punk rock, only he's a car.

I saw a test screening of this, and trust me - Brie's Inspector Spacetime accent was DELIBERATELY bad. Her British accent in this film sounds like a REAL British accent. She shares most of her scenes with Emily Blunt and absolutely holds her own.

But John Carter is the name of a guy! I'M EXCITED ALREADY!

Jews can be KILLED now?

(smacks you across the head with a shovel 'til you shut up)

SHUT UP EVERYONE! I HATE THIS FAMILY! I'M GONNA JUMP OUT THE WINDOAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH I'M OKAY NO WAIT I'M DEAD FUCK

Okay (clears throat) "Well, jelly beans, well, Mr. Gorbachev Nancy and I, well. Welly beansZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ french toast monkey I'm old."

NO YOU SHUT UP! THE BEST EPISODE OF THE COSBY MYSTERIES WAS WHEN THE MYSTERY WAS "WHO ATE ALL THE JELL-O?" SPOILER ALERT, IT WAS COSBY.

Chicken or schnook, in our oven he'll look good.

YOU DUCKS ARE REALLY TRYING MY PATIENCE!!!

If the pets die, don't replace them! I'll know!

A genius, genius episode, and from a quality standpoint I don't blame them at all for making it their season premiere…but when it first aired, was anyone else REALLY pissed off that they were tantalizing us young'uns with a last-day-of-school opening IN SEP-FUCKING-TEMBER?

"I mean, after 9/11 and Katrina, hasn't this country suffered enough?" http://www.youtube.com/watc…

I can't think of anyone in pop culture I admire more than Weird Al, or anyone I admire less than VJ. How fucking unnerving is it, now, to watch that last scene where she and Weird Al kiss?

Then in reruns, The Critic was paired with reruns of Dinosaurs, and its ratings improved considerably; problem was, that was Dinosaurs' last season. The head of ABC apparently came to Mike and Al and said, "Look, I love The Critic and I want to give you guys a second season, but there's just no place on the schedule…

Belafonte didn't need Chewie, R2 and C3PO to back him up.

As a huge Weird Al fanboy, I appreciated that they actually GOT THE RECORDING DATE RIGHT. According to weirdal.com's Recording Dates archive page (http://www.weirdal.com/rcdg… ) "Like A Surgeon" was, indeed, recorded on February 21, 1985.

Or August Lindt, who is responsible for one of the single funniest improvised lines I've ever heard: "Could it be, all this time, a guy in a dog suit?"

I forget what the issue was…

Rush doesn't count, they're Canadian. It's biologically impossible for Canadians to argue.