You can safely skip "Ghost in the Machine."  Unless you love man-eating elevator stories. **

Well, holy hell, I was at that show!  No good story, though.

Well, holy hell, I was at that show!  No good story, though.

Dammit, this may be the first time I've regretted being "only" 39. Gonna have to let this snark train roll on into the distance without me. *waves handkerchief*

Dammit, this may be the first time I've regretted being "only" 39. Gonna have to let this snark train roll on into the distance without me. *waves handkerchief*

Sorry, no, it doesn't.  On the other hand, we're finally getting that gritty, realistic Batzarro we've been clamoring for.

Sorry, no, it doesn't.  On the other hand, we're finally getting that gritty, realistic Batzarro we've been clamoring for.

I would totally go see a Wes Anderson Green Lantern film, though.

I would totally go see a Wes Anderson Green Lantern film, though.

Also: peanut butter and jelly

Also: peanut butter and jelly

Crap, that sounds even better than what I do — I take all those little Mr. Goodbars and Crunches or whatever is straggling at the end of the bag and roll those up in a the croissant dough before cooking them.

Crap, that sounds even better than what I do — I take all those little Mr. Goodbars and Crunches or whatever is straggling at the end of the bag and roll those up in a the croissant dough before cooking them.

Ha!  I am not a Megan, alas.  There must be a whole army of you ex-high school-boyfriend Wendy's fry-dippers out there, I guess.

Ha!  I am not a Megan, alas.  There must be a whole army of you ex-high school-boyfriend Wendy's fry-dippers out there, I guess.

An old high school boyfriend used to dip his french fries into a Frostie.  God help me, that is not a euphemism.  I hope.

An old high school boyfriend used to dip his french fries into a Frostie.  God help me, that is not a euphemism.  I hope.

Lord … Kinbote?

I did a "summer abroad" thing in high school where I stayed with a family just outside of Paris for a while. They took me to see Police Academy 4 in the theater. Dubbed in French. My friend's host family took her to see Pink Floyd in Paris. I wanted to cry.

KEEN EDDIE, dammit.